S V A L B A R D

by Painted Zeros

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1.
morning slips into my bed. wake up so tired i feel dead. obsessive thoughts in my head, and i've already taken all my meds. the dawn feels like a sigh. i don't know if i'm alive. it's hard to tell as daytime becomes confused with night time. there's just never enough time. i'm always tired. it's hard to make the most of being so lucky when i feel like a ghost most of the time. we walk outside into the yard, get in the car and drive north. i used to love looking at stars, but i don't care anymore. exhale smoke to our eyes. so tired of life, so scared to die. i'm working every day now, $laving to a wage now. it drives me insane how hopeless i feel. i'm going to die someday, and that should be okay, because that's how it is. that's how it goes. and to combat feeling depressed, i take comfort in my smallness. i try not to fixate on this loss, but i can't help these thoughts…they happen every day now, in almost every minute. they happen when i want them, and when i don't. i'm missing, and these moments only make me lonely. they only make me wish i could go back home.
2.
02:56
aggressive bug, what do you want? i want a little house on a Hudson rock. all i need is a mattress on the floor. i don't need your fancy décor. a microphone, one guitar, a crimson blue fake persian rug. i wanna climb up mountains, wanna swim in the woods. i want to do all the things that i th1nk i should. i want a god...a God...damned reason to carry on. "Me-lennials of the Neue Machine" want lives as real they feel in dreams. nobody listens. nobody sees. nobody knows the best way to be. you had to learn to deal with complexity, but i'd rather be the sky or i'd rather be a tree. wise and tall. brown and small. we're just dumb animals after all. a will to survive fighting a death drive. it's okay, it's alright.
3.
alien ation
4.
02:32
jaime, you're in my dreams. you are the only 1 that i want to see. oh jaime, you're such a lovely sight. thinking of you keeps me up all night. jaime, i want you every way. i want you so bad it sounds like a ~cliché~ oh jaime, can't get you out of my head. i want to take you home and tie you to my bed. jaime, don't be so cruel. you know your love turns me into a fool. oh jaime, don't do me harm. when we touch, i diiiiiiie in your arms. 'j'aime.'
5.
04:15
every night is a friday night with a handle of gin. it's okay to blackout, babe, if we just stay in. it's not any fun going home with someone when i wake up the next day. i don't remember anything i said, so i know i made some terrible mistakes/"had fun." hungover for two days straight? you must like feeling sick. your memory's a closed gallery with all the pictures titled "non-descript." every day can feel this way in the safety of a hungover haze. i don't want to die on a hospital line. i'm so sick of doing this all the time. you're too drunk to function. the desert boredom anger you're/i'm/we're 2 drunk 2 function

about

"One of the more hopeful heaps of songs this year...What it is we’re not sure, this is only a five-song (kind of four and a half) EP after all. But whatever it is, it’s exciting." - CMJ
www.cmj.com/reviews/painted-zeros-svalbard/

✂ Too Drunk music video:
www.stereogum.com/1718490/painted-zeros-too-drunk-video-stereogum-premiere/video/

✂ ✂ Jaime music video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKc_dAClHlA

album art by helen hofling
recorded, performed & mixed by katie in the practice space

credits

released July 15, 2014

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Painted Zeros New York

Katie Lau
Brooklyn, NY

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